Well It has been a long time since I have written here, but I guess I will put some things down on paper. Mostly just random thoughts as normal.
Well, now I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old. Life is always changing. We have some many decisions to make about Claire these days. She picks up on things quick and loves to learn. She is already learning to read sight words. She just loves to learn things. She is also getting more coordinated and loves to jump and perform flips.
Averi Kate has gone through a time where she is scared of me. If I ever pick her up she starts yelling "Mommy!" until I take her to Jana. I think it is because I keep trying to straighten her feet out while I am holding her.
Anyway, Jesus said, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me." and another verse that crosses my mind often lately is..."For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits
his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?
I know these two verses are not in context together so I do not intends to write an exegesis on these verses. I am just writing some thoughts down.
I have been reminded lately of several things.1. I am selfish and often just think about me, yet the cross is not about me. For example, yesterday at work was a crazy day. I didn't get to do my workout at lunch because I had notes to do. Missing my workout can lead to my insanity. If you know me you know that I have to move and perform some type of exercise in a day. Sitting at the computer for long periods of time just doesn't work. Well after lunch, it continued to be busy. Pt's kept showing up for their scheduled appt. I am usually thankful to see pt;s, but today was getting a little difficult as I was unable get any notes done during the day which meant I would surely have notes to work on at home. (One of my goals is to never have notes to do at home. ) , Finally 5 o'clock comes around and I go outside for first time all day and I find my battery is dead ( I left my lights on). I then make my way to the gym and realize I forgot my workout at work so I returned mostly discouraged and reminded that I am a failure today in many ways,
As I drive home from the gym, I am thinking about how I can tell Jana about how I had the worst day ever and I was reminded that I cannot complain because the worse day ever was experienced by Jesus as he hung on the cross. As he was beaten and bruised, he was the perfect lamb that layed his life down. I had failed in many ways on that day, but the cross I carry is nothing in comparison the cross that He carried. The weight of life on me is minor to the weight of our sin He carried.
So as the Lord began to take my eyes off myself, He began to remind me that life is not about how well I perform on any certain day, but its about following in obedience in relationship with him on a daily basis. It is about living in relation with people that they may know the goodness of Christ. . This is an abrupt ending, but I can only stay in front of a computer for so long and I think I just met my max capacity.