Saturday, July 13, 2013

Well It has been a long time since I have written here, but I guess I will put some things down on paper. Mostly just random thoughts as normal.

 Well, now I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old. Life is always changing. We have some many decisions to make about Claire these days. She picks up on things quick and loves to learn. She is already learning to read sight words. She just loves to learn things. She is also getting more coordinated and loves to jump and perform flips.

Averi Kate has gone through a time where she is scared of me. If I ever pick her up she starts yelling  "Mommy!" until I take her to Jana. I think it is because I keep trying to straighten her feet out while I am holding her.

Anyway, Jesus said, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me."  and another verse that crosses my mind often lately is..."For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

I know these two verses are not in context together so I do not intends to write an exegesis on these verses. I am just writing some thoughts down.

I have been reminded lately of several things.1. I am selfish and often just think about me, yet the cross is not about me. For example, yesterday at work was a crazy day. I didn't get to do my workout at lunch because I had notes to do. Missing my workout can lead to my insanity. If you know me you know that I have to move and perform some type of exercise in a day. Sitting at the computer for long periods of time just doesn't work. Well after lunch, it continued to be busy. Pt's kept showing up for their scheduled appt. I am usually thankful to see pt;s, but today was getting a little difficult as I was unable get any notes done during the day which meant I would surely have notes to work on at home. (One of my goals is to never have notes to do at home. ) , Finally 5 o'clock comes around and I go outside for first time all day and I find my battery is dead ( I left my lights on). I then make my way to the gym and realize I forgot my workout at work so I returned mostly discouraged and reminded that I am a failure today in many ways,

As I drive home from the gym, I am thinking about how I can tell Jana about how I had the worst day ever and I was reminded that I cannot complain because the worse day ever was experienced by Jesus as he hung on the cross.  As he was beaten and bruised, he was the perfect lamb that layed his life down. I had failed in many ways on that day, but the cross I carry is nothing in comparison the cross that He carried. The weight of life on me is minor to the weight of our sin He carried.

So as the Lord began to take my eyes off myself, He began to remind me that life is not about how well I perform on any certain day, but its about following in obedience in relationship with him on a daily basis. It is about living in relation with people that they may know the goodness of Christ. . This is an abrupt ending, but I can only stay in front of a computer for so long and I think I just met my max capacity.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Provisions and other

Well there is much to say, but I guess I will talk about the recent car buying experience....

Well for the past month or so I have been scouring the internet, doing research on what the best vehicle would be for my family who now has 2 kids. Small SUV....mid size SUV... maybe even go with a van? I didn't know. I would change my mind everyday and spend way too much time looking up info about cars. It became my "idol" for a while. ( Scripture says " you shall put no other gods before me" Exodus 20:3) Nontheless, I went down that road thinking I would figure it all out... get the best fuel efficient vehicle with the most room.... and all that stuff.

Then two Sundays ago, God convicted me of this and I decided I would take a week off from looking or thinking about vehicles. By his strength, a week went by and I didn't look or really even think about any vehicles. Then after a week, my mom calls and says she may have a Honda element with 60,000 miles for 8,000 dollars. By the way we were wanting to spend 8,000 so we thought this is the answer. I felt like this must be because I obeyed and now he is providing. However that fell through and the lady had quoted 8k before talking to her husband. She then found out the car was 2 yrs newer than she thought and they were asking 13,500. Well we were kinda crushed. We thought He has provided for us perfectly. I guess that is what happens when we think we know what God is doing. We don't see the bigger picture.

Fast forward a week and we are traveling to Marietta to look at a highlander. It was a disaster. I could talk to you about my failed attempts to be a godly husband as we were stuck in traffic trying to get to trader joe's ( that place ended up being pretty cool by the way) but I will not go into that. Let me just say I did get a little road rage and if I lived in ATL you would not want to ride with me. Atleast not on that day with an infant and a 2 yr old. Anyway, the Lord help me calm down and we went to trader joes to shop.

Well, the guy we are meeting about the car was supposed to meet us at 5 p.m. I got a call from at 4:50 and he said he would not be back in town until after 6. So then we went to " the big chicken" where we were going to meet him. I was tired from a long day with family and I told Jana I just want to go home. "I don't care about the car... I don't want to wait on him". Well my wise wife convinced me to stay and several hours later we drove away with a new car. ..

The crazy part was I just spent a lot of money and I had peace about it. I loved the family we bought the car from. They were from Lithuania.  .... By the way, I never have peace when buying or selling anything. I am always nervous and I am running around. It was God's provision. I am thankful for the experience.

Addendum: When I speak of God's provision here I do not want to come across as though I think God will provide everyone with material possessions they want. Even in this situation, I am not sure we " needed"  this new car. We could have lived without it. It is not essential for us to live, for us to have a relationship with Him, for us  to walk in obedience with Him. The car is simply a (+) to me. It will help us to achieve certain things such as allowing my wife to go to the park with her double jogging stroller without the difficulty of getting the kids in/out of a 2 door toyota tacoma extra cab. This is one minor luxury that we are thankful to have now, but to be certain it was not a need. It was a want that will decrease some stress physically and emotionally for my wife. (To decrease this stress will hopefully allow my wife more energy to focus on teaching, raising, instructing, and disciplining our children in the way of Lord)  

Sunday, March 18, 2012


Well first things first.

How is it that I am writing a blog. If you know anything about me, it is unlikely that I would ever write a blog. I am not very interesting, but I am mainly writing this blog with the purpose of me to write down some things that I am learning. I don't really expect anyone to read this, but none the less I will be writing.

Today is my first post...... Hmmmm. Where to start. I have alot on my mind. I will start with my failures today. It is really not about my failures, but about the Healer, the Justifier, the King of all Kings.

Well it has been 3 weeks since Averi Kate was born into our life. She is a blessing from the Lord. She is a pretty good baby and for that I am thankful. However, our amazing little girl Claire is having a hard time adjusting. She loves Averi Kate and is very affectionate, but she is throwing more tantrums, peeing on the floor ( she was potty trained), and not wanting to go to sleep lately. To say the least, my struggles come most with Claire. Let me first clarify that I don't struggle with Claire, it is actually a struggle with my sinful nature. I find a do what I don't want to do and don't do what I want to do. When I don't get what I want  (Claire to pee in potty instead of the floor) I fall apart. I have been thinking the past several weeks that one quality ( Fruit of the Spirit) would be vital at this point in my life. Patience.

Today when she peed on the floor I got mad and raised my voice because I was mad. I told her if she did it again she would get a spanking. Now at this time I don't think disciplining her was wrong, but my heart was wrong and that is where the problem was. I was angry because I was tired and the baby was crying and Claire was peeing on the floor when I knew good and well she could have held it in order to go the potty.

"In your anger do not sin"

My anger was not righteous but selfish. There is much more to the story, but the truth of it all is that I am a sinful dad who trust in a loving father who not only forgave my sins upon confession, but restores unto me the righteousness that come from the blood of Christ. ( I John). The fact of that Christ died on the cross not only forgave our sins, but placed his righteoussness on us a his children.

Thank you Christ that I can look to the Perfect father as I attempt to raise the two girls. I am in need of much patience provided by your Holy spirit.

I know.... pretty lame first post. I can now say I am a blogger.